Tag Archives: Sad

It comes and goes..

It comes and goes like waves.
Moon cycles.
The misery
The pain
I have no control
But when it goes
It comes back again.

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Apart by stars

Tell the moon you miss me
It will echoe across the stars
Towards a distant universe where  we don’t live apart.

There they will dream little day dreams of the love that lays dormant in our hearts,

In the meanwhile, if we were to stare at the moon tonight We’ll be bathed under the same light, together yet apart. 

Goodbye is common

I’m always saying goodbyes
but I’m standing still,
My life is me pushing my soul
like a boulder up a hill.

You’ve told me to be brave
To pave my own way,
You’ve asked me whats been forcing me to stay,
because you can’t feel the tide in which i’m drowning away
Or see these glass walls enclosing me in a cave.

Yes I’m weaker,
I fall to peices every time you return
I’ve been carving myself out of this skin hoping to run away
But fear keep calling me by name
It’s checks up on me
It’s sees if I’m okay
It’s become my closet friend

I’ve only learnt to say goodbye
No instructions on how to leave
You stand shouting  my fear is unreal,
Then when you leave you forget about me.

Atleast fear is left to hold me
the sound of the tide lulls me to sleep
I’m home in this cave.

Why aren’t I more than this?

You don’t understand
I came out the womb fighting
My swan song has spanned the length of 25 years
I’ve been armed with words even when the silence choked the meanings out of me
I’ve been protesting my existence with posters all caps
screaming  ” I have to be more than this”
I’ve drafted editorials claiming  ,
I can do more than this!

I’ve always worn weak armor-Heavy
But soft to the blow
the darkness is tougher than me
I can’t even see the night
The moon and stars are covered by the smoke
from the flares, I’m been shooting
No one has been seeing

I came out the womb fighting for air
And now I’m suffocating

 

Misdirecting the redirection

I can’t calm myself from the thought that i have done life wrong
That even if i became the smartest person in the room
it would no subtract from the miscalculation i made when counting the days of life or the paths of decisions i made.

A voice keeps telling me that life has no rules
There is no direction of right and wrong just a series of choices
we make in the end,
they either make u happy or sad
there is never  a way to know the outcome

But the thought of misdirection still haunts me at night
Still keeps me up
I was never really made to live life

 

The worth of knowing

I had the urge to drown myself
And when I could not die
For my spirit grew strong
I was washed upon the shore
Then had the urge to set everything on fire
Let the bridges burning warm me
the fields die and fertilize
Let the smoke push out anyone who no longer found me worth the clouded air
Corrupt my lungs and slow my breathing,

If I can not leave this world
I want to see who would remain here with me
But now I can’t breathe and I am lonely.
Is this worth the knowing?

Spilling out

I wanted to carve circles beneath my eyes
Strech my skin across the bones of cheeks
Rose the flesh on my skin
Like a scarlet letter
I craved to wear my sadness like a sign of isolation
A note to the world that my insides could not contain itself
A warning that my heart was spilling out
I need to be seen as how i felt
As a confirmation that my existance was real
The world needed to see me bleed