It is beautiful even if it is sad,
Even if tears the seams of your heart
And causes tidal waves in your soul
It remains beautiful,
Like the sky when it rains
Or the ocean’s waves
It’s beautiful because it’s strong
It roars, it thunders, it cries, it destructs
It makes you feel
What is more beautiful than a heart beat,
irrespective of why it beats?
I seemed to have become accustomed to the distorted belief
one should fall in love alone,
As if my heart is only awakened by spiritual distance.
I am a defensive lover.
I must leave before I am left.
I’m indifferent to the prospect of needing another person.
But I am human.
All this flesh.
This beating heart.
I fall in love from a distance.
As an answer to the possibility of loving you up close.
This way I won’t hurt you and you can’t reject me.
I’m in control of my own heartbreak.
I played chess alone in a corner. I loved you from afar.
And when you don’t see my warmth because I hide it so well.
I break my own heart.
I belong to myself.
My heart has no name on it.
Not even my own.
I stood in front of love
And I walked away
My soul has been dissolving into the stars ever since
It’s trying to find him
Hoping it is not too late to explain:
That my heart is afraid to love a man I can’t make stay
In the moment you hear the words coming out your mouth
A realisation comes over of just how full of shit we all are convincing ourselves that we have a handle on the meaning of life
As if our soothing and deep breathing will save us from the nights we fall asleep crying and the overwhelming feeling that tomorrow won’t get any better
All the wisdom doesn’t make life easier
We’ve just gotten better at shutting off the parts of ourselves that feel pain
Drugs come in all forms
We injest things to quickly