Why aren’t I more than this?

You don’t understand
I came out the womb fighting
My swan song has spanned the length of 25 years
I’ve been armed with words even when the silence choked the meanings out of me
I’ve been protesting my existence with posters all caps
screaming  ” I have to be more than this”
I’ve drafted editorials claiming  ,
I can do more than this!

I’ve always worn weak armor-Heavy
But soft to the blow
the darkness is tougher than me
I can’t even see the night
The moon and stars are covered by the smoke
from the flares, I’m been shooting
No one has been seeing

I came out the womb fighting for air
And now I’m suffocating



Misdirecting the redirection

I can’t calm myself from the thought that i have done life wrong.
That even if i became the smartest person in the room
it would not subtract from the miscalculation i made when counting the days of life or the paths of decisions i made.

A voice keeps telling me that ” life has no rules
There is no direction of right and wrong just a series of choices
we make in the end,
they either make u happy or sad
there is never  a way to know the outcome” ,

But the thought of misdirection still haunts me at night,
Still keeps me up.
I was never really made to live life.


Hold me in eternity

Am i a character in your stories?
Do edge the margins of your journals
flowing on the pages of your moleskin
are we bound to eternity in the recording of your soul
where words are like currency and poetry is gold

We have been missing each other for years
paralleled in the same universe
aiming in different directions
is it vain of me to hope that you have carved my name in the skin of the trees
that hold your secrets?
Like a dream, you have outlined only the best of me
all the parts of me you found to love
Am I foolish to believe that by you I am loved?

Read me the story of us
Write me the story of us
I’m afraid of dying out of your memory
I have a wish to be held in your eternity
Even if it’s only set on a page