I had the urge to drown myself
And when I could not die
For my spirit grew strong
I was washed upon the shore
Then had the urge to set everything on fire
Let the bridges burning warm me
the fields die and fertilize
Let the smoke push out anyone who no longer found me worth the clouded air
Corrupt my lungs and slow my breathing,
If I can not leave this world
I want to see who would remain here with me
But now I can’t breathe and I am lonely.
Is this worth the knowing?
i think i put you into art from the moment we met
You’re the accumulation of puzzle pieces i’ve been finding everywhere i went
You are the maths problem with a solution i can’t get
The person i am always returning to
always trying to run from,
i have never known who you are to me
Or what I want you to be
or what you thinking when you speak of “we”
But i’ve needed you to be close
You are every line of poetry i’ve written
And every song i’ve sung
i didn’t know this then
i couldn’t love anything then
But in the echoes of every title i find your name.
I have lived the suburban dream.
Complete with two dogs and a parakeet
lunchbox sandwiches and early morning buses
I was raised with safe neighboring
their polite smiles and handshakes
The priest he knew our names
Walking distance from my closest friends and heartbreaks just behind the bend
Mother always new where we were when night drew near
I always saw the clouds
I could count the stars
I grew up in the suburban dream
And all I learnt was how suffocating the clean air can be
How trapping the smiles seems
How loud and deceiving the silence really is.